found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
