apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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