Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
