dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
