k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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