Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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