Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
