Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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  (810): nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy http://tfl.nu/15i2
  Replies (2) Good night (1247) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.

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  (563): I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers. http://tfl.nu/uen6
  Replies (6) Good night (1065) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wanted to see November 5, 1985

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  (713): I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima (832): I wanted to see November 5, 1985 http://tfl.nu/o133
  Replies (19) Good night (4264) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.

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  (240): I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way. http://tfl.nu/5yxg
  Replies (26) Good night (4291) Bad night (1658)
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  (530): View more from California

  I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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  (530): I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS http://tfl.nu/jjgj
  Replies (36) Good night (5130) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism

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  (845): just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism http://tfl.nu/ktmw
  Replies (15) Good night (5297) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.

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  (613): I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's. http://tfl.nu/yr3w
  Replies (11) Good night (1134) Bad night (4420)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1338) Bad night (4428)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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  (202): I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand http://tfl.nu/1ole
  Replies (8) Good night (4322) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

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  (713): He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality" http://tfl.nu/r05f
  Replies (10) Good night (3453) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.

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  (817): then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand. http://tfl.nu/4p59
  Replies (6) Good night (1428) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.

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  (720): I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up. http://tfl.nu/iuni
  Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (1715)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.

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  (224): Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test. http://tfl.nu/65e0
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.

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  (503): Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now. http://tfl.nu/72i7
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.

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  (732): She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me. http://tfl.nu/djoc
  Replies (4) Good night (260) Bad night (392)

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