you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.