i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.