When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I forget how to act sober
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
