1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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