oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
