I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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