i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
