guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
