Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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