people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Houston, we have a squirter
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
