i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
