i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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