This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
