is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You ruined the universe
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night