You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.