Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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(650): Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___ http://tfl.nu/djlq

Replies (4) Good night (831) Bad night (1306)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

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(405): And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch. http://tfl.nu/1xo5

Replies (12) Good night (847) Bad night (1860)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.

(260): View more from Indiana

At least you didn't call me Brittany this time

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(574): Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa. (260): At least you didn't call me Brittany this time http://tfl.nu/6s1p

Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (1526)
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(281): View more from Texas

What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I guess God knew he was going to be bald...

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(281): What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh? (832): I guess God knew he was going to be bald... http://tfl.nu/ipcy

Replies (35) Good night (3388) Bad night (641)
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(949): View more from California

Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

(1-949): View more from California

are you seriously doing this over text message

(949): View more from California

hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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(949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7

Replies (355) Good night (8274) Bad night (49249)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

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(860): The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up. http://tfl.nu/uswo

Replies (14) Good night (1407) Bad night (4438)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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(307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn

Replies (11) Good night (6450) Bad night (1018)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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(814): 1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame? http://tfl.nu/zg21

Replies (23) Good night (7697) Bad night (1245)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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(609): I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt. http://tfl.nu/9dqv

Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (2326)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY

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(304): Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY http://tfl.nu/auio

Replies (6) Good night (1235) Bad night (525)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.

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(610): Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school. http://tfl.nu/m6s5

Replies (8) Good night (2200) Bad night (593)
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(434): View more from Virginia

do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

(540): View more from Virginia

yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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(434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli

Replies (1) Good night (898) Bad night (525)
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(480): View more from Arizona

He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.

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(480): He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart. http://tfl.nu/1a7j

Replies (6) Good night (1154) Bad night (407)
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(708): View more from Illinois

It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.

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(708): It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king. http://tfl.nu/bumr

Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (263)
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(949): View more from California

I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley

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(949): I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley http://tfl.nu/8av2

Replies (0) Good night (177) Bad night (56)

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