Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.

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(317): View more from Indiana

So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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(786): View more from Florida

i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(760): View more from California

i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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(904): View more from Florida

he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

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(914): View more from New York

I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina

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(760): View more from California

Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun

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(337): View more from Louisiana

First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.

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