im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
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Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.