I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.