so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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