You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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