dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
