she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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