I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
