Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
