I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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