He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
