I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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