How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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