take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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