Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize