Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
