The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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