I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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