I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
