She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
