i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
