If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
