the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
