You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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