Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
