Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
