can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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