Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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