We got so high we made milksteak
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
