oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
