was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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