yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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