Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
