I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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