Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
