We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have post one night stand depression
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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