I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
