Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
