That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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