Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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