summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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