i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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