"it" just moved
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
