Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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