My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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