If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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